Archive for the ‘Vision’ Category
In the business world, the phrase “tone at the top” comes from the corporate accounting scandals (such as Enron and WorldCom in the US) and refers to the attitude in the company to prevent fraud and other unethical behavior.
In short, the tone at the top refers to leaders who create high codes of conduct and live by them.
We can “set the tone at the top” by using TED in all areas of work and life. What is TED you ask? Refer the footnote for a brief description of this resourceful way of thinking, relating and living.
- Meetings - We can begin meetings by being clear about the intended outcomes. We have noticed that most agendas are problem oriented and focus on what the group doesn’t like or want. Setting the tone at the top means each meeting begins with the Outcome Orientation. “What is the outcome we want for this meeting? If we had that outcome, how would we know it?” are powerful “tone at the top” questions.
- At Home - Spouses and parents can set the tone in families by also focusing on outcomes. There is a story of a friend who shared an instance about a particularly drama-filled period with their teenage son. Rather than falling into the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ™ with him, they instead stayed in a Coach role and asked questions to help the son clarify what he wanted and how he could go about meeting his needs in healthy and fruitful ways. (Of course, there were also a few times in which they had to step in and a conscious, constructive Challenger with him as well!) Not just talking about TED* but actually putting the concepts to work sets the tone at the top.
- Decision-Making Conversations - Any time we are in a conversation related to making a decision (e.g. where to go for vacation; what kind of food we want in dining out; how to rearrange the furniture in a room; etc.), setting outcome criteria at the top can reduce the amount of “debate” that can often accompany day-to-day decision making in our relationships.
And, finally, we can begin each day “at the top” by setting our intentions for the day, staying focused on the outcomes we want to create, and to choosing our response to the situations that arise throughout the day.
TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)
TED is a positive alternative to the Drama Triangle, which was first described by Stephen Karpman, MD. The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ is comprised of three roles: Victim (the primary role), Persecutor (which the Victim blames for their suffering); and the Rescuer (who steps in to try and take away the Victim’s suffering). People shift in and out of all three roles in this Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT).
TED* is *The Empowerment Dynamic – a set of relationships or roles that offer an alternative to the drama triangle and to living life as a Victim. TED* inspires the realization that choice can lead to a positive approach to life’s challenges.
Reference: Excerpts from a blog post by David Emerald and Donna Zajonc from The Power of TED* work.
I have been talking in recent weeks about the importance of shifting your body in order to allow your learning to really stick. Remember the same old way of being lives in the body, and if you want to create something new, you must fully integrate it into your physical and energetic presence.
Today’s practice is about fully embracing possibility in your life, and we’ll do this through allowing it to live in our body. The body of possibility is that one which “feels” highly flexible (not like yoga or contortions). It has flow and movement, playfulness and easiness about it.
Imagine the wind gently swaying the trees, a leaf as it dances through the atmosphere. Follow it with your thoughts and just allow your body to be fully present to the experience.
What is it that you want to create in your life today? What is the energy of possibility for you? How does it feel? What emotions, sensations, thoughts come up for you?
Breathe high up in your body and “waft” your breath. Imagine yourself with your “flow” of breath being back and up in your body. Now move from this place and hold the space for possibility. Feel the lightness that comes with this.
The element of nature that is associated with the body of possibility is wind. Will you go out into the world today as a gentle summer breeze, or a tsumani? You get to choose. That is what possibility is all about.
Have a lovely day filled with endless possibilities, and remember learning lives in the body.
Watch this video clip and see how great leadership inspires change in the world. A simple yet profound way of stepping out in the world through movement. Einstein said “nothing changes without movement.”
Move through the world today with grace and dignity (and some out there movement!).
I had lunch with a dear friend today and as I sat and listened to his story, I marvelled at how clear he was in articulating his vision. He said it came to him one day during a work session when he wasn’t even thinking about it. Somehow his pen found the words.