Archive for the ‘Freedom’ Category
This is the 3rd article in our series on Emotional Brilliance. This month I am writing to you about the power of fear. Many of the women who come to work with me have become paralyzed by fear as their inner voices have convinced them that fear is their worst enemy. The emotional brilliance series is focused on helping each of you to understand the gift of emotions within your life. In my coaching with horses sessions, I often share that I believe fear can be our best friend. Here’s your coaching practice for this month:
- Begin with some quiet breathing and still your mind
- Journal a list of all those things in your life that you are afraid of; don’t wordsmith, just allow the words to fall out of the end of your pen
- Look at this list and ask yourself these questions:
- What if I allowed myself to embrace my greatest fear, what would that give me?
- If being vulnerable by asking for someone’s help could support me in moving forward, whose help would I ask for?
- What’s underneath what I have written? Is there a theme, something that keeps showing up?
- What do I notice when I read this list? Do I notice a shift within myself?
- What could that shift be wanting me to notice?
- Is there a story that keeps running through my mind? Something I keep choosing to believe about myself, someone else or this situation?
- If I could give fear a reasonable voice, what would it be helping to see?
Fear requires movement in order to dissipate. If we become paralyzed or stuck because of fear, it will manifest in lost dreams, potential illness and certainly loss of joy and happiness.
Just take these baby steps outlined above and see what shifts in you. Remember always our good friend N.O.R.A. – notice, observe, release and allow. This is where transformative change begins.
Have a wonderful fear-filled month and allow it to be your best friend! Just imagine what you will be able to do with that power.
Much love to you,
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In my heart-mind coaching practice, I remind my clients about the distinction between noticing, observing and releasing versus the thing we are all being told to do these days, “just let that go”. I don’t know about you, but to just let something go feels very difficult. I am convinced that trying to let something go digs it deeper into my conscious mind (not to mention my sub-conscious mind). My ego has a very hard time to just let something go. It LOVES the feeding frenzy. So…how about this instead:
When I find myself “chewing” over something, clearly there is something that is bothering me. I would like to learn more about myself in the bothering me phase. What is bothering me and what reaction does it cause in me? Where do I find that my thoughts take me? What struggles does it create?
If I just let it go (which actually I can’t say I have ever REALLY been able to do), have I devalued the lesson or even missed it? Perhaps.
Here’s a new practice to try.
Instead of trying to let it go, replace it with “I notice myself in this place. I observe the reactions and responses I am feeling. I challenge myself to explore the message behind the feeling; what is it trying to tell me – perhaps there is a nugget of wisdom here. And then I release. This happens from my body using my breath to exhale the feeling out into the world and move into my place of center.
Try this today, Notice, observe, explore and then release. Just allow, don’t try to DO anything.
Blessings for a wonderful Sunday!
Watch this video clip and see how great leadership inspires change in the world. A simple yet profound way of stepping out in the world through movement. Einstein said “nothing changes without movement.”
Move through the world today with grace and dignity (and some out there movement!).
I am coaching a lot of women these days who tell me they feel like their resilience is at capacity. In other words, they don’t have any! What this means is that they feel like they have no bounce-back-ability. Their coping mechanism feels stretched to the point of breaking.
Often at this point, they break down in tears and begin the dance of “sorry”. Apologizing for emotions, particularly tears simply adds to the challenge. Remember this emotion is the one that is about loss. We are about to lose something that is in our best interest. Letting go of trying to be all things to all people at all times just won’t cut it.
So what to do when you feel stretched too thin? Here are a few easy “practices” to consider:
Did you know that behind every complaint there is a commitment or standard that has not been met? Think about it for a few minutes. Everytime you have complained about something, isn’t it because you were invested in a different outcome or action. Perhaps you thought it might have been done a different way (and most of us have lots of ideas about this, I am sure!)
Is there a way that you could use complaining to actually achieve a different result? What would this give you?
Try these 6 easy steps and see what shows up for you.
Step 1: Get consciously aware of what is it that is missing for you; determine the importance of it in the whole scheme of life. Sometimes balancing your perspective will give you a different perception of the situation.
So what’s not happening in your life that you would like to happen? What stories are you creating about the motivations and intentions of those around you? Where are you struggling needlessly?
This is one “skill” I coach all my clients to use. It has been one of the single most powerful ways that I have created freedom in my life and those of hundreds of my clients.