Who would think that buried beneath a broken heart would lie a beautiful awe-inspiring gift.  A few weeks ago, one of my most incredible teachers, healers and guides passed to the other side.  You may be thinking, oh that is sad that she lost a person of significance in her life.  Well this wasn’t any ordinary person, it was my 42 year Lipizzan horse.  Prince of Light has a unique story and one too long to express in this blog post.  Suffice to say that the wisdom of this horse was continually demonstrated as he worked with dozens of women (and a few men) over the past 4 years.  What did his passing teach me?  How did I feel?  How do I feel today?  What hole has it left within me?

When I stood with him, I allowed myself to openly grieve.  I felt no shame…only the beauty of release.  While I knew the decision wouldn’t be an easy one to let him go, I also knew that I would be able to navigate the feelings — I’ve been here before.  I had the gift of grief to guide me.

The beauty of grief is that when we openly acknowledge our loss, when we openly explore the sadness and terrible pain we feel, the heart, mind, body and spirit responds.  It is rather like an unfolding of one’s self as we embrace the loss.  What wants to be mourned?  What wants to be re-born?  I ask these questions in quiet reverence listening gently for the answers.

While my heart feels like it could physically bust open and bleed forever, there is a stillness within that somehow whispers “you will not die, you will be safe.”  It is as though you can’t imagine yourself ever doing anything “normal” in your life again.  Buying groceries, making dinner, all the mandane things in life pale in comparison when the heart is breaking.

I openly confess my grief, my loss, my sadness.  I allow the tears to trickle down my cheeks.  I do not wipe them away as to do so feels dismissive.  While I cannot bring this beautiful soul back to the physical plane, I can rejoice in the knowledge that he was in my life in such a big way, that he left such an indelible mark on my life, that I am a stronger, more loving person because of the lessons he taught me.

I can celebrate his life and mine, and ours together.  For this I am grateful…Prince of Light even in death continues to teach, to heal and to guide.

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Today’s article focuses on a few coaching tips to help you do some spring cleaning. I believe last year at this time I wrote about Spring Cleaning for the Soul (which you can reference here).

1. Practice using centered presence each day in your life. Remember from previous articles, it is not considered a meditative practice, but rather a place from where you move in life when we feel in balance. Life knocks us off balance and then we move from this unbalanced place; we will see the world unbalanced, make our decisions unbalanced, hold our conversations, do our thinking, and feel our feelings from this unbalanced place. Center will bring it all together. Here is that document if you’ve forgotten.

[Download PDF]

2. Do “The Work” by Byron Katie; www.thework.com This is one of the single most profound practices that has significantly changed my life and the lives of hundreds of people I have coached. The only thing that ever created a struggle (or a war) was a single thought. Learn to question your thoughts and ask “Who would I be without my story?”

3. Stay in T.E.D. (The Empowerment Dynamic) http://www.powerofted.com/ I have taught this simple yet powerfully profound framework to many hundreds of people (and I will be certified this fall). We can move from the victim mode to a creator, dramatically change our lives and those of others around us. I choose T.E.D.

4. Watch your language. Language is generative. That means it generates a reality and a future. Use it cautiously and remember language follows thought. You can assess or interpret a negative or challenging situation or experience, but you must be careful not to believe it is the truth. It will hurt you!

5. Stay congruent with your emotions. This doesn’t mean saying everything you are feeling, but it does mean becoming consciously aware of what you are feeling and learning to question the thoughts that created the feelings (i.e. #2 above). Allow yourself to feel your emotions and again practice conscious awareness of these feelings. Remember every emotion we have was given to us to keep us healthy and whole – even anger!

Have a beautiful, peaceful, heart-filled spring!

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Our previous newsletter touched briefly on the attributes of what we might call True Leadership.  This name appeals to me because there are so many different types of leaders i.e. authentic, clear, gentle leadership to name a few, however this one stands out.  A True leader is that place that calls you to commitment for gracious genius, a stand for truth and integrity and a passionate possibility thinker.

Last month I identified the following attributes and asked you to rate yourself.  Here is that assessment again in case you missed it.

I am clear on the action I must take to create the results I want.I maintain healthy boundaries when I have to deliver “tough love”.I understand the difference between caregiving my team (or those around me) and caretaking.I have a vision of what I want to create and am able to inspire and encourage others to follow me.My private and public conversations are consistent with the messages I want to deliver.I am fearless in my ability to have courageous conversations.I support my team (or others around me) while at the same time helping them to be flexible in their approaches and strategies.I challenge those around me to find the most creative ways to get answers to their questions.I have integrity in everything I do.I build trust and know what to do when trust gets broken.

This month, I want you to look at the next set of leadership practices.  Take Part II of the assessment:

1. I know how to question the status quo in such a way that others are not threatened
2. I can make the tough decisions and maintain my emotional integrity
3. I can build momentum for action with a deep longing for commitment to a better way
4. I can support others as they navigate their own leadership journey
5. I know how to be a great mentor and coach to my team/my friends/others
6. I have learned how to say no while at the same time saying yes to the input and feedback I am receiving
7. I am not afraid to show vulnerability
8. My knowing mind only gets in the way once in a while, and I am consciously aware of these times
9. I start with the end in mind, but remain unattached to the outcome
10. I create leaders in those around me, effortlessly and easily

Rate yourself for Part I and Part II.  Write back and let me know where you landed and I will develop some strategies and interpretations for you to move forward.  Finding and Living your True Leader takes practice, patience and undying commitment.

Remember leadership isn’t about the “job” you hold.  It is about the way you live your life, and how that living part shows up during each step of your journey.

You may reprint the feature article, however, you must include the above copyright notice and the author biography. You are not permitted to sell this article or the content contained herein.

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Finding and Living Your True Leader…in the face of a world that doesn’t always appreciate heart-based leadership.

This month’s feature article will come to you in two parts. Part 1 in this newsletter is Finding Your True Leader, Part 2 in my next newsletter will feature Living Your True Leader. I hope you enjoy it.

Every once in a while in our lives, we meet up with someone who is a natural leader. Their leadership style seems to come so easily for them – effortless, effective and real! For others of us, it requires focus, creativity, patience and lots of new practices. I have a couple of women in my coaching practice, who exemplify this true leadership style. While they are soft, gentle and graceful, they can lead from a place of true intention, while holding firm to the commitment of action and results.

Whether the context for your leadership is within a business or organization or in your personal life, it is the same. Your true leader is that part of you that feels clear, has passion, energy, vision and a way to make things happen consensually with others.

Take this short leadership assessment and see where you fall. Write back to me with your results and I will send you an interpretation. Answer yes, no or sometimes.

1.     I am clear on the action I must take to create the results I want.

2.     I maintain healthy boundaries when I have to deliver “tough love”.

3.     I understand the difference between caregiving my team (or those around me) and caretaking.

4.     I have a vision of what I want to create and am able to inspire and encourage others to follow me.

5.     My private and public conversations are consistent with the messages I want to deliver.

6.     I am fearless in my ability to have courageous conversations.

7.     I support my team (or others around me) while at the same time helping them to be flexible in their approaches and strategies.

8.     I challenge those around me to find the most creative ways to get answers to their questions.

9.     I have integrity in everything I do.

10.  I build trust and know what to do when trust gets broken.

Have a great few weeks and I look forward to hearing from you.

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My coaching article for you this month was inspired by the horses as I quietly and reverently asked them for guidance.  “What do the women need this month, what do they long to be reminded of?”

The answer came quickly as I held their gaze and opened my heart to receive their wisdom.  “Tell them to remember.  Remember what I ask?  Tell them to remember it is a time for them.  A time for them to what, I ask again?  There is no what, they say.  There is only a time for them.” and so here we go.

September has left us and it’s been replaced by another beautiful month during a time of transition.  This time of year reminds me to go inward; to go inward to ask for guidance from the Divine.  I want to be awake to whatever I am being asked to do or to be.  My Spirit Guides beckon me to stay quiet, to reflect and to ponder.  Not to figure things out, but to remain in the inquiry of the awakening of my soul.

I always know when I am being asked to open my heart a little further.  I feel a quickening of my pulse, an exhilaration of my breath and a higher, faster vibration within my being.  That is when I know that I am being given an even bigger gift.  Can I stay quiet enough to replace my thinking mind with my heart-mind?  Can you?

Your coaching practice for this month is:

1. Use your journal and allow your hand to begin writing as you breathe into your writing instrument.  Allow the words to flow freely as you connect with your inner guide.
2. Allow whatever wants to be said and felt to come forth.
3. What thoughts and feelings find themselves in your breath?
4. Do you sit with angst, when what wants to sit with you is peace?
5. Allow your breath to rise and fall within you and close your eyes
6. Allow your belly breath to expand your ribcage and cleanse your being.
7. It is a time for new beginnings, what wants to be released so that something new can begin?
8. There is an answer within that is waiting for you – can you, will you find it?

In closing, take this with you.

You are divine feminine.  Within you lives power, strength and courage.  Do not shrink behind yourself.  Expand your energy field to take in all of the world, all the good and beautiful things around you.  The messiness will find its own way.  It does not need you to consider choices for it. It knows where it needs to go.  All you have to do is notice, observe and release.  Let it be easy and begin to begin again.

Blessings and much love,
Linda-Ann Bowling

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I highly recommend you view this video. It may take a while to load so please be patient.

“Show me how you move and I will tell you who you are.
Tell me who you are, and I will show you how you move.”

This premise is fundamental to learning in life. Einstein said “nothing changes without movement”.

As we “try” to learn new things, we must remember that learning happens in our body. We must reshape the way we hold ourselves, move through life, think our thoughts, hold our beliefs, breathe, etc. in order to truly create transformative change in our lives.

If you hold yourself the way you always have, you will think the way you always have. You will observe and see only that which you’ve always seen. Your perceptions will be held the way they have always been held.
Read the rest of this entry »

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I have been talking in recent weeks about the importance of shifting your body in order to allow your learning to really stick. Remember the same old way of being lives in the body, and if you want to create something new, you must fully integrate it into your physical and energetic presence.

Today’s practice is about fully embracing possibility in your life, and we’ll do this through allowing it to live in our body. The body of possibility is that one which “feels” highly flexible (not like yoga or contortions). It has flow and movement, playfulness and easiness about it.

Imagine the wind gently swaying the trees, a leaf as it dances through the atmosphere. Follow it with your thoughts and just allow your body to be fully present to the experience.

What is it that you want to create in your life today? What is the energy of possibility for you? How does it feel? What emotions, sensations, thoughts come up for you?

Breathe high up in your body and “waft” your breath. Imagine yourself with your “flow” of breath being back and up in your body. Now move from this place and hold the space for possibility. Feel the lightness that comes with this.

The element of nature that is associated with the body of possibility is wind. Will you go out into the world today as a gentle summer breeze, or a tsumani? You get to choose. That is what possibility is all about.

Have a lovely day filled with endless possibilities, and remember learning lives in the body.

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Hello everyone and Happy BC Day (that’s British Columbia Day for those of you who don’t know).  

Did you know our provincial bird is the Stellar Jay, and that our provincial tartan contains color to represent many of the aspects of the province.

If its not a holiday where you live, you still have cause to celebrate.  Read on…

Did you wake up grateful this morning?  If not, now is your chance to take time to reflect on our beautiful province (or yours wherever you live), and for those things in your life that you are grateful for.

Here’s how it goes for me today.  The mountains remind me of the peaks and valleys in my life and how I have been able to traverse them (most time with grace and dignity).  The oceans, rivers, lakes and streams remind me to stay open, listen to my heart and the feeling of calm.  The trees, they give me peace as I look at the dozens of trees on our property.  There are many stories to hear by listening to the trees.  They are the sentries of our history.  The land, green grass (yes it is still green here) reminds me to stay in my ground element, solidly, holding my integrity, my values, my boundaries.

What’s up for you today as you recognize our provincial holiday and bask in the essence of the West Coast?  What’s up for you today, wherever you live?  I hope it’s a good one.

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In my heart-mind coaching practice, I remind my clients about the distinction between noticing, observing and releasing versus the thing we are all being told to do these days, “just let that go”.  I don’t know about you, but to just let something go feels very difficult.  I am convinced that trying to let something go digs it deeper into my conscious mind (not to mention my sub-conscious mind).  My ego has a very hard time to just let something go.  It LOVES the feeding frenzy.  So…how about this instead:

When I find myself “chewing” over something, clearly there is something that is bothering me.  I would like to learn more about myself in the bothering me phase.  What is bothering me and what reaction does it cause in me?  Where do I find that my thoughts take me?  What struggles does it create?

If I just let it go (which actually I can’t say I have ever REALLY been able to do), have I devalued the lesson or even missed it?  Perhaps.

Here’s a new practice to try. 

Instead of trying to let it go, replace it with “I notice myself in this place.  I observe the reactions and responses I am feeling.  I challenge myself to explore the message behind the feeling; what is it trying to tell me – perhaps there is a nugget of wisdom here.  And then I release.  This happens from my body using my breath to exhale the feeling out into the world and move into my place of center.

Try this today, Notice, observe, explore and then release.  Just allow, don’t try to DO anything.

Blessings for a wonderful Sunday!

Linda-Ann

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This timeless Shakespearean quote from Hamlet is a great reminder of moving our focus from the “doing” in life to the “being” in life.  I remember working with a client sometime ago in the round pen with one of our great teacher-horses. 

We had given her a few “tools” to support her interaction.  She picked up the large round ball and began bouncing it as her horse turned his back on her.  She continued to bounce the ball as the horse continued to ignore her. 

After a few minutes of this, she found another “distraction” and began interacting with that one.  The horse continued to ignore her.  “Hmmm, she stated, this doesn’t seem to be working.  Nothing I am “doing” is interesting to the horse.  So now I don’t know what to do.”  At that point she began to get agitated as she was at a loss for how to just stay fully present to the experience. 

I approached the fence of the round pen and quietly asked her “When was the last time you allowed yourself to just be; free from an agenda or goals, doing, doing, doing, just really be?”  Her response “I can’t remember, I don’t think I know how to do that”.  And so we began a new dance; one of quiet relationship where she could just stand still, breathe, and find connection with her heart.  Her horse-teacher decided she was now much more interesting to be with and approached her, putting his head on her shoulder and standing with her in quiet connection.

Today you might not have a horse-teacher in your life so just use the good old fashioned pause button.  Staying fully present to life means being awake at the wheel, observing, noticing and releasing distractions.  There are lots of things that will call your attention today so decide what kind of attention you will give them versus what you will give yourself.

Make YOU count today and before you start your day set your intention.  It goes like this:

“What do I want to create today?

What do  I want my life to be about today?

Today, I fully intend to stay present to the experience of just being.  That means I will notice when I am pushing myself too hard.  I will breathe into life today, and stay curious and connected.”

Have a beautiful day of just being!

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